She’s A Sloppy Drunk

Thursday afternoon Janelle had dental surgery for a tooth implant. It was a short surgery but janelle was put into a “twilight” anesthesia.  When the surgery was over It was made clear that I was to help her walk and make sure that she did not fall or stumble. Well as with all of our post-op experiences this is a time to see what it is like when the other is completely gone. Another tradition of ours is to leave the surgery and go directly to get food because the patient is not allowed to eat before surgery.  This day was no exception.  As with any other day Janelle wanted chocolate so we hit the McDonald’s that was 30 seconds from the dental office. She got a large chocolate shake and I, being the supportive husband that I am, got a large strawberry shake.  I pointed out, as we drove home, that it was not good to suck on a straw after surgery  because it could cause bleeding at the surgery site so she took off the lid and started drinkin’ away. She mumbled through some conversation that she would never remember and went to town on that shake. I must admit that I probably found way too much entertainment in her medicated state but these opportunities don’t come along very ….. actually they come along too often. ( note to self: cut back on surgeries)  The best part of the trip home was looking over and seeing this glob of chocolate shake running down her chin and dripping on her shirt. I told her to get a napkin and wipe her chin and then watched as she grabbed a napkin and wiped the part of her chin not covered by chocolate.

We then discussed where we were going, again, and I assured her, again, that home was our next stop. Although the thought did cross my mind to go somewhere and buy something rediculous.  The game continued all the way home as she would drink, dribble and mumble while I laughed and handed her napkins.

I can only assume that this is what she would be like were she to get drunk but we will never know for sure.

Update: Since Janelle’s metal implant on thursday she has been setting off the security detectors in almost every store she enters.  She stuck just her head between the detectors at Staples and the alarm went off. Once again, I was entertained.  Ironicaly I have 6 plates and 36 screws in my jaw and have never set off an alarm.